


all's fair (in love and uno)

by imposterhuman



Series: game night, avengers style [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asshole Tony, Card Games, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Game Night, Gen, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Oblivious Steve, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Friendship, Team as Family, Tony is a little shit, UNO, avengers play cards, genius Tony, pepper is a good bro, theyre both enablers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 06:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: the avengers play uno, and tony has a few tricks up his sleeve





	all's fair (in love and uno)

**Author's Note:**

> the rules for uno here are my own house rules, so dont call me out if yall play differently! i know most people dont play with the multiple cards method that tony uses here, but tony's strategy doesnt work without it so suspend your disbelief
> 
> enjoy!

“Uno time!” Clint burst into the common room holding a deck of Uno cards.

  


“I’m great at this game,” Tony bragged, pulling up a chair. 

  


“I’m not,” Steve frowned. “I don’t think they had this in the forties. How do you play?”

  


“Easy,” Clint said, sitting down next to Natasha. “You can play cards of the same color or the same number. Multiples of the same card can be played all at once, but that’s a dick move, so do it a lot. Wilds, skips, draws are self explanatory.” While he talked, he dealt a hand to everyone at the table. “I’ll go first.”

  


He played a simple green card, which Bruce placed a skip on top of with a placid smile. “What?” he asked when he sensed Tony’s glare. “It was my only green card!”

  


“That’s a lie and you know it, Brucie Bear. You just wanted to skip me.”

  


Steve tentatively played a safe card, even though Tony  _ knew  _ he had a draw 2 in his hand (Steve bled like nobody’s business). Natasha, ostensibly with the same knowledge, rolled her eyes and gave Clint a draw 4. 

  


“Aw, cards, no,” he said sadly, but picked up his four cards without further complaint. By the time it wound back around to Tony, Tony had already decided on his strategy. He ignored the matching cards in his hand and drew instead, drawing three cards until he got a draw 2, which he stashed in the back of his growing stack. 

  


“I thought you said you were good at this,” Natasha eyed his growing pile. Tony shot her a cryptic smile and played a card silently.

  


The next couple rounds went just like that, with Tony amassing as many draw cards as possible to the jeers of his teammates and Natasha’s suspicious looks. Before long, Clint was declaring Uno and placing a reverse on the table as his last card.

  


“I win!” he crowed. “You all lose, I win!” Natasha threw a card at him so hard that it left a line on his cheek.

  


“I’m out of cards, too,” she said. No one challenged that the thrown card was red, while the pile was currently yellow.

  


Bruce stayed in a few more rounds before winning with a devastating double skip, leaving Tony and Steve facing off.

  


“I really did think you were better than this,” Steve said, confused. “Normally you’re good at games.”

  


Tony shrugged, placing a couple cards down. “Bad luck, you know how it is,” he said breezily. “Everyone gets it.” He shuffled his deck, looking a mix of forced nonchalance and upset (which was harder than it looked).

  


Steve narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but let it drop. Of course, that was when Pepper and Rhodey had to walk in and attempt to ruin everything. They walked over to the table to stand behind Tony, peeking at his hand.

  


“Tony, you dick,” Rhodey groaned.

  


Steve perked up, confused. “What’s the matter?”

  


“Nothing,” Tony said sternly, glaring at Rhodey. To Pepper, he shot her approving glance a sunny smile. “Hi, Pep, light of my life.”

  


“You shouldn’t have played Uno with Tony,” Pepper whispered conspiratorially, coming across to Steve’s side of the table. 

  


“Why not?” Steve played his second-to-last card. “Uno,” he declared.

  


Tony looked at him, appraising. “You do appear to have only one card left…” he trailed off.

  


“Tones, no,” Rhodey said, burying his head in his hands.

  


“Tony, yes,” Pepper looked like the bloodthirsty CEO she was.

  


“...and I have a lot more than that,” Tony finished, looking almost smug. 

  


“Get to the point, Stark,” Clint called out from where he was lounging across the room.

  


Tony grinned wolfishly. “I think I will,” he purred. Making eye contact with Steve, he played one card at a time, until he had played eight skips. “Oh, my turn again, is it?” Steve was fuming. Tony delicately placed all four draw four wilds down. “I choose…” he glanced at Pepper, who was sitting next to Steve. She did something with her eyes that Steve didn’t catch. “Red.”

  


Steve groaned and drew his cards, looking sadly at his single blue card. All of his new cards were basic. He stared at Tony’s stack, wondering what else had the genius looking so happy (he had a feeling that he didn’t want to know). Steve set down a wild card with more force than was necessary, changing the color to blue.

  


Tony counted his cards, showing he only had eight left. “Draw two, draw two, draw two, I think you get the point,” he said, laying all of his cards down on the pile, waving his empty hands.

  


Steve stared at him in shock, not even noticing how Rhodey and Pepper were cracking up. “What the  _ fuck _ ,” he practically growled. “That’s not fair!”

  


“All’s fair in love and Uno,” Tony said breezily, standing up from the table. “I think we’re done here. Also, Cap, watch your gosh darned profanity!” He sauntered away, leaving a dumbfounded Steve among Tony’s laughing best friends.

  


“I can’t believe you fell for that,” Rhodey wheezed. “Tony never loses card games unless he wants to. He counts cards without thinking and he can almost always guess what’s in your hand. It’s insane.”

  


“I thought he was just bad at Uno!” Steve replied defensively. 

  


Rhodey nodded sagely. “Ah,” he said. “You fell for the  _ it’s just bad luck  _ face, didn’t you?” Steve looked utterly dejected when he nodded. “Not your fault, I did too, the first time I played with Tony at MIT. That asshole did the same thing to me, except I showed markedly less restraint than you did.”

  


“He threw the entire deck at Tony, as well as some heavier objects,” Pepper explained, grinning fondly while Rhodey nodded sagely behind her. “Tony tried to do that trick to me once, too, but I almost stabbed him with my shoe at the first draw two, so he settled for beating me the normal way. Otherwise, he’d be very dead.”

  


“You all should stop underestimating Tony,” Rhodey said, a hint of seriousness to his voice. “Don’t you know how smart he is?”

  


“He’s an ass,” Clint chuckled. “Taking advantage of poor Cap’s terrible Uno skills.”

  


“Trust me, he could’ve done that to any of you,” Pepper smirked. “He just likes tormenting Steve. No offense, Steve.”

  


“None taken,” said Steve faintly, still staring at the pile of cards. “None taken at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> i play uno just like tony does (the game is banned in my house now)
> 
> thoughts?
> 
> prompt me with games they should play!
> 
> comments and kudos keep me goin


End file.
